Josh Dreams Of Infinity

Last night, I dreamt that I saw Infinity War. For the sixth time. Not that I saw it for the sixth time; this is the sixth dream I’ve had. It’s getting ridiculous.

Usually when I’m hyped for a movie that I hope is good, I’ll have dreams that it’s horrible. My brain will conjure some convoluted plot that’s downright boring, and I’ll walk out of the theater disappointed.

However, I’ve never had six dreams about a movie before it opens. I feel like I’ve seen the movie already, but I haven’t. It’s weird.

Just a few hours ago, I took a nap and dreamt I missed my showing. For some reason, it took place in my old apartment, the one I grew up in. Jenine was there, and we had just woken up.

INT. CHINATOWN APARTMENT – DAY

Josh wakes up on the top bunkbed. He peeks over the edge and sees Jenine.

JOSH
Jenine, what time is it?

JENINE
It’s ten forty-three.

JOSH
WHAT? Are you sure?

JENINE
Yes.

JOSH
Our Infinity War screening was at ten thirty, babe!

JENINE
What?

JOSH
WE NEED TO GO NOW!

Josh leaps out of bed and runs to get changed.

JENINE
But…why would we miss our screening?

JOSH
NO TIME TO TALK JUST HURRY!

JENINE
But Josh…why would miss our screening…

The nightmare ended there. I woke up. Something is wrong with me.

Josh out.

Life’s A Ten

I was chatting with a friend in a college cafeteria:

COLE
How ya doin’ Josh? How’s life? Scale of one to ten.

JOSH
Hmm…I’d say ten.

COLE
Really? I ask people that question a lot and I think you’re the first person to say ten.

JOSH
I mean, I can’t complain. I still have a dreams and goals I want to achieve. But hey, I’m here in Los Angeles, working toward my ambitions and—

Our conversation got cut off. It’s been about an hour and I’m back home. I haven’t exactly had time to process why I answered “ten” so quickly, but I’m going to do that now.

Do I have lower expectations for my life? Is that why I said ten? I’m not rich, sure, but would a rich person answer with ten?

Could my life be better? Sure. I could have a full-time job, that’d be nice. But I believe the big reason I’m content with my life right now is that I’m changing. Evolving. Growing as a person.

One of the most “eh” years of my life was 2014. I did quite a lot then. I published my novel, completed two short films, learned a ton, made enough money that I was able to move to California the next year. However, despite finishing a bunch of projects, I felt stagnant, like I wasn’t going anywhere.

Life is so different now. I’m surrounded by so many great people and artists, yet still have a strong, rock-solid community back East. I’m developing new habits. Like this one! I’m painting a clearer picture of who I want to be. Every day feels like an adventure. Sure, there are days when I think, “wow, I did nothing today,” but at least I’m not thinking, “welp, this is my life now.” If I waste a day, I know that’s not normal.

No adventure story begins with the protagonist going, “man life sucks. Everything sucks.” It begins with Luke Skywalker staring at the two moons over the horizon, content with his life but knowing there’s so much more. Besides, if I can’t be happy where I am, how will I be happy with where I’m going to be?

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

Hebrews 12:1-2a

I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m fully loved by a God who accepts me just as I am. It already can’t get better than this. With my eyes set on the ultimate prize which is Christ Jesus, I’m ready to live…ugh, my best life possible. I hate that phrase. But it’s accurate. My best life is my happiest life, but my happiness is not dependent on circumstances that change like the wind. It is grounded in an all-knowing, all-loving God who sent His Son to die on the cross for my sins, so I could live eternally with Him.

If none of that made sense to you, sorry. I’m just typing my thoughts as they come. If you don’t already know the gospel, I’d love to share it with you. How it’s changed my life and made me the person I am today. Sorry if this sounds preachy. It can be a little awkward sometimes, saying my deepest beliefs out loud. But it’s worth it.

Okay, I have to get back to editing. Josh out.

I Followed Christopher Nolan Around For An Entire Evening…

…in my dream last night. It was fantastic.

I met him in a humongous office building, where he was doing prep for his next film. He invited me to follow him around as he ran some errands.

We walked through a couple classrooms full of students gaping at Nolan. He ignored them. So did I.

We entered an elevator. I asked him if he enjoyed living in the city (I don’t know if he actually does or not).

NOLAN
Sometimes. The city gets a bit boring. I rather spend some time in the country with my wife and daughter.

The scene shifted to him giving his infant daughter a bath in a rural cottage. His hands disappeared, leaving behind a 3D wireframe model of his hands, bathing a virtual projection of his daughter in computer-simulated water.

I woke up.