Jubilee Fellowship starts tomorrow, but I have some quick thoughts to get out:
What are my intentions when I make films? What is my desired outcome? Recognition? Or is it enough just to create?
Josh began making films at twelve years old, using one of Canon’s first digital cameras. A brick. He made a Narnia spoof. No one was watching, except his family. He just did it because it was fun.
One year later, thirteen year old Josh screened his fifteen minute magnum opus, Ultrakids, at his church’s retreat. People were ecstatic. They like me. They really, really like me.
Teenage Josh recognized this admiration as a “good feeling” and subsequently desired more. So he made more films. And more films. And many, many more films. All while chasing this high he felt when people praised his work. He forgot what it was like just to make films for fun. The reason he started in the first place.
The sad irony is that the best films come not from an artist attempting to gain recognition, but from a pure expression of the soul. Josh realized this, but how could he retrain his brain after eleven years of making films for the approval of others?
He doesn’t know how he’ll do it. But he knows he has to try. A problem can’t be fixed until it’s acknowledged.
Why did I write this thing in third person?